bitchy | Express: The Sussexes’ Chubbly appearance will be ‘meticulously crafted’

At some point, the British tabloids will ease out of this hysterical “will the Sussexes be invited to the coronation” narrative. By the end of the month (hopefully) they’ll establish that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex were sent invitations, so then the narrative will be “how can we ensure that Harry and Meghan are visibly punished when they inevitably attend the Clowning?” They’ll continue to skip over the part where Harry and Meghan can make up their own minds about whether they’ll attend and how their attendance is contingent on several big, notable things. But I digress. The Daily Express has an exclusive about how the Sussexes will get invitations, and they’ll have to RSVP right away, because plans are afoot to ensure that – you guessed it – everyone knows that the Sussexes are being snubbed in some way. These people, I swear to God.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will be invited to the King’s Coronation this spring, it can be revealed. A detailed plan is underway to ensure the couple do not overshadow the proceedings in any way, a Whitehall source said, after Harry levelled allegations and criticism at the Royal Family in his memoir, Spare. “They’re on the list and planning is well underway to make sure the proceedings run as smooth as possible – without any drama”, they said.

Officials especially want to reduce the chance of Harry and Prince William being seen in public together, and are organising seating arrangements in Westminster Abbey to avoid the brothers being pictured together.

Invitations to the Westminster Abbey service will be sent out in the next few weeks after the final guest list is confirmed, the insider said. But they confirmed Harry and Meghan are currently on the 2,000-strong list, alongside royals – both domestic and foreign, dignitaries and world leaders. The Palace is currently working in close consultation with No10 and the Foreign Office to finalise the guest list.

While the invites are being prepared to be sent out later this month, the Sussexes won’t have long to make their minds up on whether they’re going to make the trip across the pond, as RSVPs are understood to be wanted by the start of April. Royal commentator Afua Hagan is adamant Harry will make the effort to appear, as he has his heart set on reconciling with his family. She said: “Attending the Coronation is the first step on the road to reconciliation.”

Harry and Meghan’s attendance at the Coronation will be meticulously crafted, insiders say, with organisers using the plans for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee as a blueprint to ensure no awkward encounters – such as a public reunion with William and Kate – is avoided. Their arrival at the Abbey is set to mirror that of the service at St Paul’s Cathedral last June, where they arrive in a private car alone, and sit on the opposite side of the aisle to the Prince and Princess of Wales.

Harry and Meghan’s position on the aisle will also be well thought out to ensure the brothers are not captured in any shots together to avoid speculation over their relationship overshadowing the event.

“The focus will be on the vertical line of succession,” said royal historian Cindy McCreery. “Precedence will be given to William, Kate, George and his siblings.”

[From The Daily Express]

As I’ve said before, it’s my dream that the invitations go out and the British media spends months shrieking and wailing about picayune bullsh-t like seating charts and aisle seats, all while Meghan and Harry stay blessed and unbothered in Montecito. The cherry on top would be a one-sentence confirmation in early May that they are not attending. Oh, the meltdowns, oh the tantrums. I have no idea what will happen but I know that all of this horsesh-t in the tabloids is making it pretty easy for Harry to choose to stay home.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.