The Unknown: Where You Find Your True Self

You’ve probably heard the saying by Roy T. Bennet, “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

It’s true that during the times you step outside your element, you experience who you really are. It’s about facing our fears and doing things we are passionate about.

We often live our lives with the “I cannot,” “I don’t want to,” or “it’s too difficult” thoughts that keep us stuck and unhappy. It’s only until we realize that when we stop letting our negative thoughts control us, that we find our true self.

Stepping into the unknown is frightening, the place just beyond where we can see the outcome of doing it. That’s the part that makes our hearts pump faster, make us break out into a cold sweat and yet, we yearn to see what’s there.

Staying in our comfort zone keeps us from stepping into that unknown. It keeps us secure and safe. Your comfort zone is the basis of your life now. It’s how you define who and what you currently are.

What’s Wrong With Staying In Your Comfort Zone?

Why do we stay in our comfort zone? Because our comfort zone is the stress-free zone we are used to. It’s what is familiar. It’s also the place where we are the most dissatisfied with our life.

When we stay in our comfort zone, we are forcing ourselves to stay stagnant. We’re afraid to change for fear of what could happen. Our brains are trained to keep us safe so we stay in our comfort zone instead of facing the unknown.

Staying in our comfort zone though can cause problems as well.  Here are 8 reasons it’s wrong to stay in your comfort zone.

1. Not reaching your goals. If you stay in your comfort zone, you are less likely to follow through on reaching your goals. Your fear, procrastination, or any other excuse keeps you from taking action toward your goal.
2. Lack of growth. Staying in your comfort zone will probably keep you from growing into more than you are right now. You’ll always be stuck, never going forward and never growing and changing. You might end up not achieving your goals because you’re stuck on doing things the same way you’ve always done them, even when you’re not seeing any results. You don’t step out of your comfort zone to explore what you’re capable of doing or what you can accomplish.
3. No or lost passion. Staying in your comfort zone makes it harder for you to discover your passion. Your passion can only be found outside your comfort zone.
4. Feeling left behind. When you stay in your comfort zone you will feel like you are being left behind your colleagues and others you relate to. They might have been behind you in terms of your life or career but because they stepped out of their comfort zone, they have passed you by.
5. Settling for less. By continuing to live in your comfort zone, you push yourself to settle for less than you desire. You put your passion or things you love aside.
6. Your self-confidence lags. When you don’t move out of your comfort zone, you aren’t building the confidence you need to grow and take on new challenges.
7. Your health suffers. Sometimes when you are not getting out of your comfort zone you aren’t taking care of your health either. It can be from fear of going to the doctor, not wanting to change your routines, avoiding going to the gym for some reason such as being looked at or trying something different.
8. You’ll be unprepared for changes. You are inflexible and set in your ways when you stick to your comfort zone. Life can be difficult, throwing all kinds of things at you. Things can happen that will pull you out of your comfort zone even if you don’t want to. Staying in your comfort zone keeps you from being open to new possibilities.

The reasons we stay in our comfort zone are the same ones that we should be using to step out of our comfort zone. Staying your zone may feel comfortable but it’s wrong to limit yourself to settling for mediocrity.

But what would happen if you stretched outside that zone? Would bad things happen? Or would you suddenly be excited about life?

How do you know if you should step into the unknown? Begin by writing down 10 things that doesn’t scare you and you do often. This could be things like traveling by bus, giving a public speech, or whatever it is that doesn’t scare you. It’ll be different for each person, because we all have different comfort zones.

Describe how it feels to live within your comfort zone. Be as detailed as possible using feeling words. How does it make you feel to be in your body, your mind, and your life?

Then ask yourself these questions:

1. Are there things you want to achieve but haven’t yet?
2. Are you dissatisfied with your daily life?
3. Do you want to achieve big things?
4. Do your goals and passions keep appearing, tugging at you?
5. Are there material or immaterial things you want that you don’t have?
6. Are you struggling with finding meaning in your life?
7. Are you feeling jealous of others who have achieved or done things you secretly want?

Once you’ve answered these questions, think about what’s keeping you from going after what you want. What makes you uncomfortable? Is it fear? Are you reluctant to take chances or make changes?

Write Down 10 Things That Scare You.

Now describe how it would feel if you were living outside your comfort zone. Be as detailed as possible. Describe in detail how it feels, what you see, hear or where you are.  Use images, color, or visualization to help you create your life.

Take your time with these steps. Once you realize what’s keeping you from stepping into the unknown you can begin taking small steps outside your comfort zone to get there.

Your life can be as fulfilled and exciting as you desire it to be once you step into the unknown where you find your true self.